Sunday, September 30, 2007

stunted growth and fanfare

I guess I don't really need to stunt our boy's growth, but slowing it down a little might be nice for Mommy. Another tooth appeared yesterday, and he is trying to crawl. He's trying hard, and getting better at it all the time. I believe that one of these days, I'll put him down to play with his toys, turn around for a moment and he'll be off! He's grown up enough now to sit up in the cart like a big boy in the store (I highly recommend those cart and highchair cushions you can get), and this morning at out to breakfast, he sat up in the high chair, too. He gets so excited - you can see that he's proud of himself. He sat there and played with toys as though he'd always been doing it. I suppose that's the way progress is in so many ways.

I remember waking up on my 30th birthday (I'm really only 29, but I pretend to know about such things) thinking, "that's it?" No fanfare, no confetti falling from the ceiling, just another day. I had the same experience when I bought my house as a single girl, which seemed like a big accomplishment to me. I went the the title company, I signed a bunch of papers, they handed me keys, and that was it. I even did it on New Year's Eve, and still nothing. No party hats even, or kazoos.

Now my son is on the same track - all of a sudden, he's doing something new, and it's as though it's always been that way. He smiles a little and sits up straighter so that I can see that he's proud, but that's it. He's eating food, he sits up, he has teeth -what will be next? I try to make as much fanfare as possible, just so he'll know I haven't missed something important. I give a bunch of "Yeahs" with singing and mighty clapping. He really likes clapping. I'm sure that as he gets older I'll be the embarrassing mom that he wishes would be quiet and stop with the fanfare, but that's not in me, I think. Too bad!

on the bright side of new beginnings

That's where I'm trying to look - on the bright side of new beginnings.

You know when people say, "I've had the worst day at work!"? They haven't. Short of an actual explosion or someone coming in with a machine gun, I've had the worst day at work - it was Friday. My company blew up, in the metaphorical sense, and became a small fraction of itself. While I'm one of the lucky ones who didn't lose a job, I am the unlucky one who got to meet with each person who did individually and explain their exit packages to him/her. Picture a single-file line out of your office door that goes on way too long of people who are a little shocked, at least a little scared, significantly impatient, likely on the verge of tears and very disappointed. To make it harder, these people knew that I was also having a hard day, and at least half tried to comfort me. Bless them. Bless them all.

I'm hoping that the blow-up of my company will allow for happy new beginnings - I have to believe that it will. Of course, I'll make sure I'm there long enough to ensure that the people who lost jobs are taken care of - that their unemployment is in place, that their COBRA is in place, that sort of thing. It's not my specialty, but I know I can help, and I hesitate to leave it to anyone who's left. If I'm lucky, I'll also be there long enough to transition to a new chapter in my work life. For me, it's likely an opportunity to gain even more flexibility in my schedule. I'm hoping to find some part-time clients where I can consult and help them out at the same time allowing myself more time with my son. This also gives me the flexibility to help my husband with some things that he does outside of his day job.

I have a grand vision that includes growing so that I have enough work to add other women who are smart and have lots to offer but don't want to work fulltime to the mix. I know lots of women (some moms, some not) in my industry who have mentioned that they'd like to work in a flexible way, which is tough to do in our field. I believe that giving them the means to do that would be wonderful for them and extra wonderful for the companies they would be helping.

So, off into the wild blue yonder. Now you may have non-little-boy-related postings to peruse as I figure out what I'm doing and how to do it. Wish me luck - I'll need it!

Monday, September 24, 2007

will, fortitude

So, how do you resist a beautiful boy who doesn't want you to leave the room? What do you do when he makes the terrible sad face and then screams full tilt? What do you do when he really turns it on and reaches for you? How do you find the strength to say no to the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen when you know he doesn't get to spend much time with you during the week and that he misses you?

I mean, really. I don't want to raise a spoiled kid who expects, who has a sense of entitlement. I want to raise a wonderful, sensitive man with strength of character, with a work ethic and consideration for others and who understands the value of a dollar to boot. Is this possible? Where will I find the will to stand up to the gorgeous? To say no to the sweetheart, to my little love? For the good of him, but also for the good of everyone he interacts with and influences for the rest of his life? He's so perfect, and all I want to do is love on him all the time. This desire doesn't coincide with my wish for those future characteristics I've listed.

So, is it possible?

Saturday, September 22, 2007

banner day

It's a big day at our house.

First, we have a tooth! One sharp little spot of a tooth on the bottom right-hand side. Wowee!

Second, he took a big-boy bath today. He sat up in the tub and splashed in the water, playing with his washcloth. Mostly the splashing is what was so wonderful, though. He had a blast! He's had showers before and he's had baths in his little tub where he was supported kind of half-sitting, but now he's so grown up that he can sit up. I've attached the bath toys to the wall - let the games begin!

Friday, September 21, 2007

wearing the letters

I'm not a very fashionable girl. I mean, I feel pretty good in a pair of khakis and a black or chocolate t-shirt, and sometimes my shoes even match the outfit, but that's normally coincidence. Simple is best for me, because it's harder to mess up. Same goes for my house - I try to keep it picked up, and it's not terrible to look at, but it's not one of those houses that you walk into and it looks pulled together, either. I just don't have "it," that thing you need to pull off scarves around your neck, casual skirts, or well put together rooms.

Today I have taken a strong step forward toward fashionableness (is that a word? See - I really don't have it). Today I brandished a quote onto the wall in my boy's room. It's a Pooh room, and the quote's from Pooh, too: "I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen." It's a focal point for the room - I see on all the TLC shows that rooms need focal points, and this is clearly the only room in my house that has one. One's a start, though, right? Check out the company where I got it made - very nifty! Maybe someday you'll see it on the site!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

maybe someday...

When will I write about something not related to the boy? As soon as I've got the material - perhaps no time soon. ;) That's okay - not complaining.

whee whee whee, all the way home

My boy's latest is that he loves games of any sort. Peekaboo's a blast, and even This Little Piggie Went to Market. The "Whee whee whee" cracks him up - he laughs out loud about it, so we do that part repeatedly. I have to admit that I've never really seen the beauty of This Little Piggie, but apparently I've been wrong the whole time. Who knew? His other favorite game? I didn't know about this one before, but its name must be something along the lines of "Grab Mommy's Hair, Pull Her Head Toward You Fullspeed and Suck on Her Nose, then Giggle Silly." Don't look at me like that - I didn't name it!

Oh, and bongo drums. I found out when I picked him up from school today that he loves the bongo drums. Obviously artistically gifted.

Monday, September 17, 2007

carrot face

Nothing like Carrot Top; be not afraid. I was getting ready to tell you that carrot face was at least as bad as green bean face. Yesterday, when I would've blogged but for the lack of battery capacity, it would've been true. Today, however, it's a new story. Breakthrough? I hesitate to get excited, but it seems promising. A new challenge, however, is that the boy is learning to blow bubbles. This dubious talent led to his projectile-spitting carrots in my face. I'm such a new mom that I actually found this funny and, dare I say?, cute. The blowing and spattering was, in fact, laugh-out-loud funny. This presented a problem because everyone knows you're not supposed to laugh out loud when kids do things you don't want them to keep doing. Yeah - good luck with that. Seriously, you try it and let me know how that goes. Maybe I'll have it down by the time he's old enough for me to be egging him on - oh, right. Too late. Anyway, the new appreciation for carrots is a step in the right direction for sure. I'll take it.


We are swingers! In the classic sense, I mean. Thursday the boy and I tried the swings at his school together. It went great! They didn't have baby swings, so he sat in my lap and I held on. We went slowly, but we went. Big smiles.

Then on Saturday I took him to the park with some friends, and he went on the baby swing all by himself. By Himself! He hung in the front because he's so small compared to the swing, but he liked it--giggling all the way. Sunday, we went to a park closer to home with Daddy/Dear Hubby. Fun all over again, but Daddy was smarter than me. Instead of hanging from the front of the swing, he tried actually sitting Little Boy toward the back to hang on. I didn't try this because, I'm ashamed to say, I didn't think he had it in him, but that'll teach me for next time. Let the kid try it (whatever it is); he can probably do it. He can at least try! (Easily said - we'll see how that goes when it's actually Next Time.)

Friday, September 14, 2007

I live for Fridays

I really do. Right now (and for as long as I can pull it off) I have Fridays off work, and I get to spend them with my son--sometimes even with my hubby too (when he can pull it off). They're more than worth whatever it takes to make them happen. Today I've had the wonderful pleasure of being able to hang out with my son as he wakes up at a leisurely pace (and I do too), instead of having to hurry to get ready for work/school. I've also had the pleasure of playing with him during his happy morning time and of feeding him cereal. (Cereal face is so much better than green bean face. He actually seems to like the cereal.) We took a nap together - him sleeping on me, and me gazing at him and rubbing his back while he sleeps, sneaking in cheek kisses when I could. Dear Hubby came home and we all went out to lunch together, sitting outside and enjoying the sunshine.

It's not so much the specifics of the day that make it special to me, though--for me it's really about getting to spend time, unfocused time. Seeing what the day has to promise. On work days, it's a few minutes in the morning, and then I pick him up by six. By the time we get home and eat something, he's probably down for the night, though Hubby and I usually let him sleep on us in the evening instead of putting him in his crib right away. I don't get to see the day-to-day changes, like how much better he is at sitting up or how much more interactive he is. I know I could get that on the weekends, but those two days just aren't enough. By the time the shopping's done, laundry's done, or any chores, the weekend's gone and you're back where you started. I don't want just to prop him in his exersaucer to keep him busy - I want to read with him, interact with him, sing with him, walk with him, learn with him and such.

I know I'm not alone. Aside from the billions and billions of articles on this topic that I've seen over the years, I met another Mommy from school the other day, and she was talking about the Exact Same Thing. She doesn't get Fridays off, though, so I didn't mention that I do--gloating isn't becoming. She's a teacher, though, so she gets the entire summer to play with her little girl. Wouldn't that be yummy?

Does one day solve all my angst about time with my son? No, but it sure beats no days and it sure helps!! It's my spoil-myself-life-of-luxury-time-to-spend-do-things-for-fun day. Mmmmm.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Elton John

My son is six months old today - very Grown Up! Last night he was giving quite an impassioned piano solo, then a vocal rendition (of something). Obviously artistically gifted. He was so moved by the music that we ran out of time for trying grean beans again, and he didn't get to sleep until 8:45, which is late by Little Man standards. Green beans will still be there tonight.

The piano solos are just wonderful. He leans way in, right over the keys and really gets into it, sometimes with one key at a time, and sometimes whole-handedly giving it all he's got (sometimes even with both hands), sort of Elton John style, I like to think. Early Elton John--you know, standing at the piano, maybe throwing in a foot here and there.

At Grandma & Grandpa's, if someone plays along with him, he'll wait as he sits next to them on the bench until they're finished, putting his hand on their arm, and then give his portion when they pause. My brother says the hand means something on the order of, "um, okay, I'm playing now, and perhaps you should pause to let the maestro continue," but my mom thinks that it's just his way of connecting with what you're doing and giving you his full attention. Either way it's pretty adorable. When I play with him, though, he doesn't seem to mind; he just plays right along with me. I'm not sure whether I'm no threat and he feels that he can play right over me or whether he thinks we are great as a four-handed duet. I'm going with the latter.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

green bean face

Today was the first day that my son, six months old on Thursday, tried food that wasn't breastmilk, formula, or (newly) cereal. Today was green beans. Bless his little heart, he's so excited about eating food. When we eat, he's watching our every move, wants to grab for our food - he really wants to eat like we do. He's been excited all through rice cereal, oatmeal and barley cereal. Really excited. Now green beans, a big milestone. So excited, grinning from ear to ear, eagerly grabbing for the spoon and leaning into it. However, with each bite, he made worse and worse faces. Let the contortions begin! The last bite was the last one because the face he made was so hideous that I didn't have the heart to give him anymore, though I think he would've done it. It's going to take a lot to erase green bean face from my mental archives. If Dear Hubby had been home, I'd have had him film it, but no such luck, and I couldn't hold spoon and camera at the same time. Shame.

Thanks to Suzi

for being generally wonderful, but specifically for encouraging me to start a blog.