Sunday, January 18, 2009

Sunday pancakes

My dad makes (usually blueberry) pancakes every Sunday for the whole clan, and this has been going on for at least a decade, before any of us siblings were married. It can be a little much to get there every week, with trying to get organized for the upcoming week and trying to fit family time (for our little family) into a crunched schedule. However, it's wonderful to have a regular touchpoint. Not all of us make it every week, but we do more often than not.

I talk to my sister several times a day - we're always connected. My brother, however, isn't the "pick up the phone" type. You always know he digs you and that he's thinking of you, but you don't get obvious confirmation without that type of a forum. Much like going to the gym, sometimes it's a little tough to get there, but I'm always so glad that I did.

This week, my sis brought a new cookbook and a Wii fit to share, and Dad built a big fire. Aidan was in heaven as usual, with many of his favorite people in the same room showering him with attention and love. Details don't really matter; it's just great for us to be able to hang out, draped across the furniture, in a happy place.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Where did that girl go?

My dear friend Missy sent me a newspaper cutout (via email, of course) of an advice column. A single woman had written in and asked what her friends with kids do all day, and why they couldn't get things done like she could or have any free time. The response, from a mom, was a little biting, but a good one. I'm sure some others have seen this.

The sad thing, though, is that I ask myself these questions. What do I do all day? Why can't I get anything done? Is it wrong to want some playtime w/my son in addition to all of the productive things we do during the day, when instead of playtime I could also be productive doing something else? It's a constant struggle, and I'm certain I'm not alone.

I feel as though I'm barely treading water sometimes. The house may look like a hurricane hit, and I'm balancing to ensure that nothing essential falls - all bills paid, kid fed, clothed and bathed, getting to/from work. I've noticed this getting a little easier lately as Aidan gets (at all) more self-sufficient, and I'm hopeful that this trend will continue. One day, I hope to be near the together, competant girl I was pre-Aidan, caught up and with spare time. I miss her.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Bittersweet homecoming

What a wonderous week of vacation! The fact that our opportunity to unwind and spend a full week straight together as a family was in such an amazing setting was just gravy. There were so many joys of taking Aidan with us that I'm sure I won't be able to remember them all.

My friend Suzie recently wrote an entry (that should've been written by me) about Marriage vs. Motherhood, and I agree that there finally becomes a time when you believe that you can be mobile again (and are tempted by diving in once again). We are nearing or in that time now. Aidan was an angel (most of the time), making friends wherever we went, and a joy to behold.

During this week, he got to do three things that were amazing to him: ride on planes and see other real planes up close, ride a choo-choo (the resort had a trolley), and ride two "neys." He's still talking about all of those things, which for him consists mostly of saying the words, "airplane," "ney" and "choo-choo." He did many things that were amazing to us as well. He went in the span of one week from being afraid to get in the water to letting me stand on the edge of the pool and toss him into the air for his dad to catch him in the pool. He went from shrieking about the slides to climbing up himself and sliding again and again, from sobbing around the lazy river to insisting that he be held off the edge of the float so that he could kick while we went, and giggling about going through the waterfalls we encountered. He picked up a couple of new phrases, and his pronunciation improved. We sat around the kitchen table an colored. There were glimpses of him that looked like a five-year-old, though I'm not sure yet how I feel about that.

It was a wonderful escape, and I'm not at all happy about having to be back in the "real" world. I'm doing my best, however, to take the best of it with me - the lack of stress and ability to enjoy a moment. Using that lack of stress to accomplish things I've been avoiding or putting off, and to realize that the stress isn't really worth the effort it takes/causes. Oh, and family dinners. We started a new tradition of eating together at the table (on weekends at least), using our dining room table tonight like a real dining room table instead of a collector of odds.