Friday, October 5, 2007

Rule #1

When I was a kid, my dad used to joke that Rule #1 was "The Dad is always right." Rule #2 was "If it appears that The Dad is wrong, refer to Rule #1." A multi-decade friend told me a great story this weekend that ended with the punchline from her 10-year-old daughter, "Mom, why do you always have to be right?" Will I always be right someday?

I remember a time when not knowing was the worst thing ever. I had to know, and I had to know now. It didn't really matter what the subject was - a birthday surprise or what my future career, husband, etc. would bring - none of it could happen fast enough for me. "Patience," I can hear my dad saying, and I would think, "yeah, yeah, nice for you to be patient; it's not for me." I always felt that I could be patient, if only I knew what the outcome would be someday. Not so much patient.

Right now, so much is in flux for me. I'm learning all about being a mom and a wife. My husband is changing jobs. My company has exploded (imploded?), and I'm looking at a new venture for myself. Every day at work is a challenge at best, and I haven't felt fully rested in longer than I can remember. I just don't know much right now, and I can't plan for much of it. One might think I'd be too stressed to function, or have any fun. The "old" younger me would be in quite a state.

The "new" me is taking the whole thing amazingly well. I just can't be as invested in things that I can't change or that don't really matter "in the light of eternity" (another gem from Dad). I feel pretty confident that there's an answer, even if I don't know what it is; I might as well enjoy the ride. So, off to morning cereal with the boy, some meetings and if I'm lucky, the swings at the park. The rest will wait. Great day!

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