Saturday, November 21, 2009
favoritism
I felt my sis' baby kick last night. I believe I'm the only one who has, other than her husband; I'm only slightly surprised that the baby would show me such favoritism this early. I knew I'd be the cool aunt, but I didn't realize it would start already!
Friday, November 20, 2009
solidarity
The other day Aidan was wearing his Tigger jammies. He's adorable in them, by the way. He pulled one arm out of the armhole and put it through the neckhole, which made him into a Tarzan-Tigger-like being. Even cuter. Then I saw a lightbulb go off, and he pulled the other arm out and put it through the neckhole, too. He pulled it down around his waist, grinned, and almost twirled around. He said, "I'm a princess!"
I told him, "you are, Aidan; you're beautiful!" He said, very sweetly, "Thank you, Mommy." Then he told me that I'm a princess too. "We're princesses together!" There's a sentence I wasn't really expecting from my son.
I told him, "you are, Aidan; you're beautiful!" He said, very sweetly, "Thank you, Mommy." Then he told me that I'm a princess too. "We're princesses together!" There's a sentence I wasn't really expecting from my son.
Sucker punch
In case I've been feeling a little big for my britches (no reference to Aidan's comment about my big bottom), how bad is this? I went maternity clothes shopping with my sister, and the girl at the shop asked if this would be my first grandbaby. My son's two! Granted, I could be a grandmother, but I would've conceived my sis at age 8. Ew. Also granted, she looks very, very young for her age, but to be her mom, I'd have to be an age that, while very acceptable to be is not acceptable for me to look, yet.
I told my hubby about it, and he asked if I punched her in the face. He was kinda mad. I love him!
My look of horror made her realize her error. She swears she heard my sis call me, "Mom." It's possible that she started a sentence with Mom, because we do talk about our mom. It's possible. It did feel a little like a sucker punch, though.
I told my hubby about it, and he asked if I punched her in the face. He was kinda mad. I love him!
My look of horror made her realize her error. She swears she heard my sis call me, "Mom." It's possible that she started a sentence with Mom, because we do talk about our mom. It's possible. It did feel a little like a sucker punch, though.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Nope. Nada. Not at all.
No Green Goblin - nothing. Not even the backup dragon costume. Not even the word, "costume." Nothing. Halloween was, for us, sitting on the front porch in street clothes eating various candies and trying to claw back into the house whenever trick-or-treaters who might be considered even slightly frightening dare to stop by.
In fact, today is significantly after our trick-or-treating day, Oct 29, and as we were leaving school today, he said, "I want to go to home. Let's go home. We're not going to the costume store?"
Ugh.
On the bright side, he's cracking me up. He's started saying phrases like, "so anyway, guys" and "actually."
In fact, today is significantly after our trick-or-treating day, Oct 29, and as we were leaving school today, he said, "I want to go to home. Let's go home. We're not going to the costume store?"
Ugh.
On the bright side, he's cracking me up. He's started saying phrases like, "so anyway, guys" and "actually."
just in case I need it
A friend was having a tough day, and I wrote this to her. As she's the only one who reads this besides me, I'm putting it here, somewhat at her advice, to remind myself when I need it. Know that I couldn't possibly love my family any more than I do, my stunning, gorgeous, loving and devoted husband and son.
so, every time i think i might be alone in my lonliness when i'm surrounded by love or in losing myself or in feeling ever so slightly ungrateful for what i'm so lucky, so so lucky to have, i realize that i'm not the only one in my shoes. it's all around me, every day, in women who are struggling to balance what's too much for any human to hold at once. there's no one right answer, no good answer, and everyone, EVERYONE with a family struggles with it, and everyone without a family wonders whether it'd all be better if she did. it's in our culture, it's in novels, it's in blogs, it's in elevator conversations; truly, it's everywhere.
you're beautiful in pretty much every way possible, and passionate about life and motherhood. you can't always get it all right, and i feel like maybe it wouldn't be as satisfying if you/we could. part of loving something is earning it, i believe. another part of loving it is letting myself not be perfect about it. why is it so easy for me to let other people be where they are, and understand where they're coming from, and so hard for me to let myself not be perfect? seriously, no one is. no one. No One.
i'm thinking about this a lot as my sis is expecting, and i'm hoping that she lets herself be where she is too.
don't get me wrong - i'm really very happy with my life and my gorgeous, beautiful son, and i'm sure you are too. it's just hard to be a mom sometimes. i don't know if this is helpful, but reading your blog today, i wanted to tell you this because it's all around me, sometimes affecting me personally and sometimes affecting friends or acquaintences. i'm sending a giant hug and a smile and the reassurance that you're right where you should be and that you're in there, plain for us all to see.
so, every time i think i might be alone in my lonliness when i'm surrounded by love or in losing myself or in feeling ever so slightly ungrateful for what i'm so lucky, so so lucky to have, i realize that i'm not the only one in my shoes. it's all around me, every day, in women who are struggling to balance what's too much for any human to hold at once. there's no one right answer, no good answer, and everyone, EVERYONE with a family struggles with it, and everyone without a family wonders whether it'd all be better if she did. it's in our culture, it's in novels, it's in blogs, it's in elevator conversations; truly, it's everywhere.
you're beautiful in pretty much every way possible, and passionate about life and motherhood. you can't always get it all right, and i feel like maybe it wouldn't be as satisfying if you/we could. part of loving something is earning it, i believe. another part of loving it is letting myself not be perfect about it. why is it so easy for me to let other people be where they are, and understand where they're coming from, and so hard for me to let myself not be perfect? seriously, no one is. no one. No One.
i'm thinking about this a lot as my sis is expecting, and i'm hoping that she lets herself be where she is too.
don't get me wrong - i'm really very happy with my life and my gorgeous, beautiful son, and i'm sure you are too. it's just hard to be a mom sometimes. i don't know if this is helpful, but reading your blog today, i wanted to tell you this because it's all around me, sometimes affecting me personally and sometimes affecting friends or acquaintences. i'm sending a giant hug and a smile and the reassurance that you're right where you should be and that you're in there, plain for us all to see.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
not even the Green Goblin?
Trick or treat is tomorrow. Someone in our house, not to name names (Aidan) has been looking forward to this for months, talking about it, asking about it. He's insistent that he be the Green Goblin. (I should be the Hobgoblin - good luck with that.)
I can't remember whether I've mentioned his devotion to Spiderman, but it's nearly to the point of my brother's devotion to Star Wars at a tender age (completely unparalleled), and has come on earlier than I expected. His knowledge is daunting - all of Parker's (he calls him Parker usually, like they're pals) girlfriends, all of the villains, of course, and which person they "take" or wrong, everyone's history. I swear he has other activities than watching Spiderman, but there are days you can't tell by talking to him.
Hence, the insistence on the Green Goblin. I'm not sure whether any of you has tried lately to find a size 2T GG costume, but I promise that they don't exist. There's one but it's wrong. It's black with bits of green, and everyone knows that the real GG is green and purple. Check the cartoons. This leads to a wild goose chase in which I, who feels a little strapped for time on a regular basis, to put it kindly, find makings of a GG costume.
Last night, the pumpkins were finished and glowing on the front porch, and it was time to put the costume together. No go, my friends; no go. Shrieking, crying, hiding, and all sorts of avoidance ensued. It was as though I were torturing the child, and all I was trying to do was get a too-big shirt on him to make into the smocky-type thing that goes over the GG's green outfit. He doesn't want to Trick or Treat. He doesn't want to be the GG. He doesn't want candy. He wants to go to bed (that's a first). No GG. NO GG!
I believe Halloween's been cancelled at our house. We'll still pass out candy, and maybe someone will be inspired. I must say that my inspiration to create a costume was dimmed, and should he have a change of heart, there's a mighty fine ready-made dragon costume waiting in the wings for him. I believe that what actually will happen, though, is that I'll sit on the front porch and pass out candy to the vans full of kids who stop by (I live at the very edge of a very nice neighborhood that attracts vans full from surrounding slightly less safe neighborhoods) while a certain someone hides indoors from the scary kids in costume. Not what I pictured, but holidays are flexible, I suppose.
Wish us luck.
I can't remember whether I've mentioned his devotion to Spiderman, but it's nearly to the point of my brother's devotion to Star Wars at a tender age (completely unparalleled), and has come on earlier than I expected. His knowledge is daunting - all of Parker's (he calls him Parker usually, like they're pals) girlfriends, all of the villains, of course, and which person they "take" or wrong, everyone's history. I swear he has other activities than watching Spiderman, but there are days you can't tell by talking to him.
Hence, the insistence on the Green Goblin. I'm not sure whether any of you has tried lately to find a size 2T GG costume, but I promise that they don't exist. There's one but it's wrong. It's black with bits of green, and everyone knows that the real GG is green and purple. Check the cartoons. This leads to a wild goose chase in which I, who feels a little strapped for time on a regular basis, to put it kindly, find makings of a GG costume.
Last night, the pumpkins were finished and glowing on the front porch, and it was time to put the costume together. No go, my friends; no go. Shrieking, crying, hiding, and all sorts of avoidance ensued. It was as though I were torturing the child, and all I was trying to do was get a too-big shirt on him to make into the smocky-type thing that goes over the GG's green outfit. He doesn't want to Trick or Treat. He doesn't want to be the GG. He doesn't want candy. He wants to go to bed (that's a first). No GG. NO GG!
I believe Halloween's been cancelled at our house. We'll still pass out candy, and maybe someone will be inspired. I must say that my inspiration to create a costume was dimmed, and should he have a change of heart, there's a mighty fine ready-made dragon costume waiting in the wings for him. I believe that what actually will happen, though, is that I'll sit on the front porch and pass out candy to the vans full of kids who stop by (I live at the very edge of a very nice neighborhood that attracts vans full from surrounding slightly less safe neighborhoods) while a certain someone hides indoors from the scary kids in costume. Not what I pictured, but holidays are flexible, I suppose.
Wish us luck.
flattery will get you nowhere
Aidan walks by the bathroom as I'm getting in the shower:
"Mommy, that's your bottom."
"That's right."
"It's big."
Hmph.
"Mommy, that's your bottom."
"That's right."
"It's big."
Hmph.
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